Green Needle or Brainstorm?

The internet is constantly shifting and changing. I remember back in 2006 the infamous Numa Numa dance went viral. Truly one of the GOATS in reference to popular internet videos. Of course, nothing like that would ever be popular on the modern internet. It’s become filled with clickbait, thirst traps, and influencers. One post that sticks out in my mind is that dress from 2015. The fact that you even know what I'm talking about shows just how much it changed us. In fact, it has its own Wikipedia page, simply titled, “The dress”. And for the record, it's gold and white. So while I am aware that trends come and go, I am absolutely shocked that this video has not torn the internet apart atom by atom. It's the dress but with another layer, you can actively switch between brainstorm and greenlight! You can choose what you want to hear! The second I heard this, I freaked out. Immediately I started sweating and stripped down to my boxer briefs. The walls seemed to close in, the lights dimmed, a faint buzzing grew louder in my ear as the room began to spin. What type of black magic is this? Are there multiple dimensions? I was mesmerized and horrified at the same time. I immediately sent the link out to friends and family, all of whom shared my disbelief. This begs the question, why wasn't this the most popular video on the internet, even for just a day? On multiple social media platforms, I saw a video of a grown man eating a wasp nest, yet this video was nowhere to be found. The internet has changed for the worst, but I for one refuse to change. I will continue scouring every rabbit hole for truly enjoyable content. And those within my inner circle will reap the rewards.

And a final note, if you're the person who would comment on this video a lengthy scientific explanation for this phenomenon, I’m speaking to you directly. I mean this with every fiber of my being. Shut the fuck up you narcissistic know it all. No one cares that you can google a question faster than anyone else. Your sense of online superiority is useless. Go outside and mingle, it will probably be good for you.