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Finally, Someone Outside the US Drinks Hand Sanitizer

Russians are so desperate for a buzz, they'll drink anything


Russians are a different breed. They accept a dictator while legally allowed to leave the nation, they are born with skin-tight tracksuit’s already on, and their most well-known trait is crippling alcoholism. With all of this in mind, the headline shouldn’t surprise you. Seven Russians poisoned themselves by drinking hand sanitizer at a party after the booze ran out. There were nine people at the party, and apparently they all thought it was a great idea. The two that survived are currently in the ICU in a coma.

Only in Russia is a gallon of hand sanitizer more appealing than reality. On one hand, you have to feel for these people. I mean even their home looks like a cheap set used for a TV show with a sole episode in Russia. On the other hand, how stupid can you be? This has to be some sort of organized suicide/assassination by their government. I just cannot fathom 9 grown adults spanning from ages 28-69 all agreeing to drink poison in hopes of keeping a buzz. On the bright side, they were taking the pandemic seriously if they had enough hand sanitizer to fill up all their cups.

A criminal investigation has been launched to ensure no foul play was involved. Also, the Russian government reminded its citizens not to drink hand sanitizer, which is shockingly more than the US government has done in recent months. To anyone this desperate, I suggest sleeping it off and restocking in the AM. While I’m sure the DMT rush from death is unparalleled, I can almost guarantee it isn't worth it.