5 Takeaways from Week 4 of the NFL Season

We're already through the "first quarter" of the 2020 NFL season. It was a mediocre week on the field, but without further ado, here are my 5 takeaways from week 4.

1. COVID SCARES THROUGHOUT THE NFL

It was reported earlier in the week that multiple Titans players and staff tested positive for COVID-19. Shockingly, no one from the Vikings tested positive after playing in a 3-hour football game where disgusting fluids flew all over the place.

It was reported later in the week that Cam Newton and Saints fullback Michael Burton tested positive as well. Luckily no one else from the Patriots tested positive, so we now get a Monday Night doubleheader. Although Burton's test turned out to be a "false positive".

If I know one thing about the NFL, it’s that they’ll lie and scheme at all costs to get what they want. And all they want is money. That's why I'm not too concerned about the season getting shut down. If there's a crazy outbreak throughout the league it's a different story. Roger Goodell would bury a 65-year-old offensive line coach himself if it kept the season going.

Let's hope all these positives turn into "false positives".

2. DOES DALLAS OWE JASON GARRETT AN APOLOGY?

When I was watching the Cowboys get shit pumped by the Browns, I was looking for Jason Garrett clapping it up on the sidelines. I quickly remembered the national and local media crucified Jason Garrett on a cross soaked in gasoline.

First things first, this defense is atrocious.

When you don’t know how to tackle and consistently lose the battle up front, you're not going to win a lot of football games.

Also, why did Mike McCarthy bring back the same assistants from the previous regime? Wasn't the whole point of firing Jason Garrett to start fresh and finally get this talented roster to click?

Garrett and his 11.7 PPG Giants come into town next week, which is set to be a shit show.P.S. Dak Prescott isn't the problem Cowboys fans. Without him, you'd be on your knees begging for Trevor Lawrence with the rest of the loser franchises.

3. GOLDEN TATE AND JALEN RAMSEY BRAWL POSTGAME

It seems clear to me that Jalen Ramsey and Golden Tate still want each other’s throats.

Here’s how the story goes: Ramsey had a few kids with Tate's sister and left her for a stripper. Think about it like the Doc Rivers and Paul George situation.

I grant Tate permission to beat the shit out of Ramsey if he gets the chance. Ramsey seems like a pretty annoying dude regardless of how talented he is. It's a tough look for Tate to get dominated by Ramsey all game and then end up on the bottom of the pile during the brawl.

I wish Tate put up a fight but instead the Giant’s receiver found his way to the turf courtesy of his sister's baby daddy.

4. MATT PATRICIA LOVES POINTING FINGERS

Patricia is high on the list of coaches on the hot seat. After blowing another double-digit lead at home, he did what every coach would do and pretty much blame everything on playing in Detroit.

Detroit is a city where careers go to die. Barry Sanders, Calvin Johnson, and it appears Matt Patricia is up next. Before a Lions fan jumps off a bridge, I'm only joking by adding Patricia on the list of all-time greats.

Former Lions and record-setting QB Dan Orlovsky BLASTED Patricia regarding the comments he made in his postgame press conference.

I agree with what Orlovsky is saying. If I were him I’d take it easy as a QB that went 0-16 for the same franchise. Let’s not even discuss the play where he waltzed out of the endzone for a safety.

5. BEARS QB SITUTATION

So it appears Big Dick Nick is a below-average starter but a superstar reliever.

In an absolute snooze fest, Foles couldn't get it going at all against a raunchy Colts defense. Was it the Colts defense or is Foles just a pitiful starter? When he plays bad, he's simply Nicholas Foles. When he's balling out, he's Big Dick Nick.

Now Big Dick Nick only comes out in big situations. The Bears were 3-0, so he kept that massive cock of his in the closet for now. Next time Chicago needs a win, I fully expect to see his colossal camel tail bursting out the seams the way it did in the Super Bowl two years ago.

Another takeaway I had was how bad the Bears QBs have been throughout the history of their franchise. Their QB situation has been so terrible that Jay Cutler is considered one of their all-time greats at the position. Cutler gave the Bears a single playoff appearance.

For Bears fans, it could be A LOT worse. Please trust me when I say that.