I felt amazing on Monday coming off an awesome weekend. There were some lingering vibes, which had me ready to take on the new week with full force. Until I read the plot for Space Jam 2. Those lingering vibes were sucked down a black hole so strong it caused an inter-dimensional shift.
I'm going to say it now before everyone gets upset. The original Space Jam sucked. An unpopular opinion for sure, but if you haven't watched the movie in the past 15 years, don't watch it. If you have kids that want to watch it, let them watch on their own. Your nostalgic boner will go completely flaccid when you realize how god awful the movie actually is.
When I first read the leaked plot for Space Jam 2, I thought to myself "what's this knock-off Finding Nemo bullshit?" Warner Bros. couldn't think of a better plot? Then I remembered everything in Hollywood nowadays is either a reboot or stolen idea. It was silly of me to think screenwriters try to come up with original stories.
I knew I would despise this movie the second the uniforms were leaked.
Gross. As bad as the original movie is, at least they gave us an iconic jersey. Unfortunately for the youth nowadays, the entire rainbow needs to be included or they're not interested.
It's all up to LeBron. The original one sucked because MJ was an atrocious actor. At least LeBron has some acting experience. The last thing I need is for this entire film to be a big advertisement for each and every one of LeBron's sponsorships. If I know anything about LeBron, there will be a ton of Nike, Beats by Dre, and Sprite product placement.
If Warner Bros. incorporates a few "iconic scenes" this could be a solid movie. I think it would be fun for people to relive some of their favorite scenes while LeBron fights off an animated Anthony Davis. However, if they include cringe social media references I swear I'll throw my chair through the TV.
The leaked plot could all be bullshit. Who knows. I plan on watching the movie for sure, but I'm expecting an hour and 20 minutes of hot garbage. The bronsexuals will undoubtedly rave about how it's the best movie of all time. For normal human beings, I think we all expect a flop worse than this one against the Bulls.
Even the wink at the end wasn't convincing. Let's just pray this isn't a foreshadowing of an abysmal acting career.
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