Hollywood ran out of ideas years ago, that isn’t news. Between uninspired sequels and disrespectful remakes, the average viewer realized how desperate Hollywood is around a decade ago. What people don’t realize, is just how low these executives have stooped to chase a check. The public failures are all well documented and have already been roasted thoroughly all over the internet. The Mulan live-action remake, Ghostbusters reboot, The Mummy reboot, TMNT live-action reboot, the list of failures goes on and on. What you don’t know is there is a whole other tier below these AAA blemishes. There are some sequels and reboots that are so bad, you never even knew they existed. I call these: The Undesirables.
A Christmas Story 2: My Summer Story
How do you even make a sequel to a Christmas movie? Apparently, the director of this film has no idea either since he decided to make this a summer flick. This movie came out 11 years after the original, with only the narrator reprising her role. The movie made $71,000 in theaters, which has to be one of the biggest flops of all time.
Bigger Fatter Liar
Big Fat Liar is an all-time classic. Two young, popular actors get into all sorts of shenanigans to take on the mean corporate boss. When I was a kid, I had dreams about the prop room they hung out in. This movie was released in 2017, 15 years after the original. The plot is the exact same except swap out the movie producer stealing a script with a video game developer stealing an idea. This one really doesn’t make sense to me. Sure the original was good, but who was this supposed to appeal to? The original audience isn’t interested in a shitty remake, and the new generation of kids has probably never even heard of the first film. Just overall an odd choice and a clear lack of originality behind whoever wrote this movie.
Mean Girls 2
The movie was released in 2011 and was instantly touted as trash. I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t know a damn thing about this movie except that it’s on my do not watch list. If anyone here wants to waste their time and give this movie a try, let me know how it goes in the comment section below.
Road House 2: Last Call
I just watched the original Road House (1989). I’ve heard it was a cult classic but I did not expect the movie to be as good as it was. The action, sets, and plot were all enough to make me instantly declare the move a “classic”. Sure, at times it bordered softcore porn, and the plot stalled just to give us more explosions, but thats exactly what any American male is looking for in his films. The sequel is about James Dalton’s (Patrick Swayze) son, who joins the DEA after a drug kingpin murdered his father. First of all, such a lame cash grab trying to swindle a couple of bucks off the fans of the original. Secondly, how dare you kill Swayze off screen and making him such a badass in the first? The movie came out 17 years after the original and instantly was placed in Walmart discount bins in nearly all the south.
Next time you feel like a fool or an idiot, just remember you didn’t spend months creating Bigger Fatter Liar. I avoid any reboot or long-overdue sequel until the reviews come in. Also, as a general rule, if you haven’t heard of a sequel, there’s a reason why.
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