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SAB's Friday Rankings: Halloween Candy

What's your favorite Halloween candy?

Stephen A. Bayless

Happy Halloween everybody! Always a great time of the year. Due to COVID, we're probably not going to see many slutty nurses or cats. The good news is, you can go to your local CVS and buy big bags filled with fun-size candy bars. What's better than eating candy and watching horror films? If you're planning to stay in due to bars being closed, here are my top five Halloween candies.


I'm more of a chocolate guy when it comes to Halloween candy, but you need to mix in some fruity candy. Usually, I don't like to eat the normal size bag because it destroys my mouth. I feel like the fun-size bag is perfect. If you don't like the original Sour Patch Kids, I highly recommend the Sour Patch Watermelon. I don't think they come in the fun-size, but always a solid option. Definitely in the top tier when it comes to Halloween candy.


Love the cookie and caramel combo. As great as it is, I can't put it in my top 3. A fun little thing I like to do with Twix is crush it up into little pieces and sprinkle it over vanilla ice cream. Thank me later. The reason I didn't put it in my top 3 is that I was never rushing to look for it. If I found it in my pillowcase, it was a nice surprise. At the end of the day, it wasn't my main priority. Without a doubt an elite chocolate though.


I had to throw in another fruity candy so the list wouldn't be overloaded with chocolate. I placed the GOAT fruity candy at number three, Skittles. Just like Sour Patch Kids, the regular size bag is too much for me. I love the fun-size bag because it's a nice handful that I can pop in my mouth all at once. Nothing better than ripping the bag open and shoving it down my throat. Just like how my grandpa takes his pills. Tasting the explosion of rainbow in your mouth is one of the best experiences you can have eating Halloween candy.


Trying to rank the last two were tough. It's a heavyweight fight between Kit Kat and my number one. The delicious chocolate wafer is truly a timeless classic. Everything from breaking up the rods to the initial crunch after the first bite, it's so goddamn good. The reason why I put it at two is because of the monsters that eat it wrong. Although it shouldn't be a knock on Kit Kats, it infuriates me when people bite into the entire thing at once. Stop being a barbaric savage. Break the Kit Kat up properly and eat it like a civilized human being. It's truly one of my biggest pet peeves.



What else would be number one? It seems to be everyone's favorite Halloween candy. I guess it's hard to beat out the greatest combination of all time. Chocolate and peanut butter. For me personally, I think Kit Kat's and Reese's are 1A and 1B, but Reese's edges Kit Kat out by a very slight margin according to America. Everything from the packaging to the size of the cup is perfect. Put it in the freezer, and it's even better. It's hard to argue against Reese's when you're ranking the best Halloween candy.



Peanut M&M's

Hershey Kiss


Milky Way


HalloweenSour Patch KidsTwixSkittlesKit KatReesesLifestyleRankings