Welcome to the first-ever Stephen A. Bayless Friday Rankings! Every Friday I'm going to give you my top five rankings ranging from food to weekend activities. What better way to kick off the series than ranking the best game day foods?
Obviously, pizza is an elite choice for any food category. For me, it cracks the list at five. I couldn't put it in my top three, but it definitely warranted a spot on the list because who doesn't love pizza? It's easy and doesn't make a mess like some of the other foods I mention. The reason it takes the five spot is because pizza is an integral part of our lives. I'm not blown away when I see a pie at a watch party. I may grab a slice here and there, but I'm definitely on the hunt for better options before I touch the pizza.
4. CHIPS AND DIP
For these rankings, I'm specifically talking salsa, guac, and queso. They make up the perfect trifecta of dips to get you through game day. Here's my ideal order: queso first, then guac, and finally salsa. Get to the queso ASAP. Once it's cold, it's game over. Don't be like my repulsive friend Alexander and eat the queso cold, you're better than that. After queso, move onto guac. The transition from queso to guac is imperative to this entire operation. If you wait too long the guac turns brown. No one wants brown guac. Finally, finish it off with salsa. It won't go bad throughout the entirety of the game despite marinating in the sweaty musk of your basement.
This is a controversial pick. If you've never had chili at a football watch party, you need to reevaluate your game day spread. When the aroma of chili first hits, my tastebuds are instantly aroused. It's an elite option once you get into the colder months, especially if you're tailgating. Of course, you need a shit ton of crackers to go along with it. Load up on the ground beef, pile on the cheddar, plant your ass on the couch, and enjoy your one-way ticket to Flavortown.
2. PIGS IN A BLANKET
Pigs in a blanket over hot dogs? Yeah, that's right. When I see those little wieners stuffed in a crispy puff pastry, my mind immediately thinks about what condiments I need to grab. My go-to condiment is spicy brown mustard, but regular mustard does the trick. Being the most classic condiment, ketchup is always a valid option. Lately, I've been messing around with Frank's Red Hot for an extra kick. Hot Dogs are fine, but you need to save room on game day for other options. With pigs in a blanket, you get the upside of a hot dog coupled with a variety of sauce options.
Wings sit on the throne of game day foods. If you disagree, please leave this page immediately. I don't need to explain much since they speak for themselves. Providing a tray of wings to share with your friends is the easiest way to make everyone happy. No one bitches about wings besides Karen, who demands boneless and complains about getting her hands dirty. I don't mind boneless wings like everyone else on the internet, but it doesn't hit the same. The flavor options are endless as well. Buffalo, honey BBQ, lemon pepper, you can't go wrong with any flavor.
Buffalo Chicken Dip
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