Hardworking Parrots out of a Job after Insulting Guests

Welp, PC culture has done it again. This time it has gone and made hard-working parrots lose their jobs. In the United Kingdom, a wildlife park recently accepted a new flock of parrots. Apparently, their last owner had a great sense of humor because these birds came in with the ability to swear.

Supposedly while locked up in quarantine these African grey parrots taught the other birds their vulgar vocabulary. Whenever they would curse in front of the employees or guests, it would result in laughter, which made these birds even more inclined to swearing.

First of all, why is this not on video? I would love nothing more than to watch a cage full of birds insult each other. On top of that, you have to imagine they curse like Brits. I’ve seen American parrots curse, and it’s honestly rather lame. Just a bunch of F-bombs and mindless swearing. However, our counterparts on the other side of the pond really have the imagination to come up with some pretty great insults. Watching two birds call each other motherless cunts while arguing about who gets the last chip is exactly what I need.

I have to imagine that all of these parrots were guys. I just can’t imagine five girls sitting in a room together giggling while calling each other daft slags. It upsets me that these parrots had finally found their calling in life just to be broken up. This could’ve been a new niche for this sanctuary, instead, they are going to have birds repeating the same old nonsense about Polly and her damn cracker.

It’s been a long year for all of us, and these birds have found the solution. Don’t take things too seriously, curse more, and insult your friends. I’ve been doing it since high school and I turned out all right!